Bitter

The bitter cold of winter has finally hit and there are times when my bones ache so much I want to cry. There is no reason for me to have this problem but ever since I was a child, the cold made my bones ache in the worst way. The doctors don't know what the problem is. Now I wrap myself in the warmest heating blankets and cuddle with the pups as much as I can.

These cold nights when I wake up in a flash or simply can't settle down; I lay in the silence and can't help but think of the people who have come and gone. Then I realize how much I have changed and how some of the most basic decisions I have made in my life were actually quite life altering. The thing about pain and solitude is that you have no choice but to focus. Focus on getting better, focus on a pleasant thought or focus on NOT focusing. Right now I am trying to focus on not taking life so seriously all the time. I look at how peacefully Buddha is sleeping and see his little paws twitch as he dreams. What does his dream consist of? Food? Play? Well, with Buddha I think that he is always dreaming of food. Even my dreams are complicated. SHEESH! Time to relax.