Thursday, June 14, 2012

Fashion Faux PAWS

It's been nearly two years since I started going to the dog park. I went from never owning a dog to owning two dogs and going to the dog park every single day! Here are some FASHION lessons I have learned!

1) Never wear a white shirt.
2) If you like your gloves, make sure you keep them on because the second those puppies come off a dog will snatch and chew them up!
3) Your legs will get battered by excited dogs so if you want to wear shorts be ready to be a scratching post.
4) Remember those brand new shoes you bought? They now have poop in all the tiny crevices. Good luck cleaning them!
5) High heels? PLEASE! Those suckers will sink into the urine infested ground. YUM.
6) Nice phones and other expensive electronics will get drooled on, stolen by a sneaky pup and ultimately broken because dogs don't mind yanking things off the table and using them as their personal chew toy.
7) Scarves can prove to be ultra hazardous especially if you wrap them nicely around your neck. This can incite a type of tug of war between you and a dog or one dog on each end.
8) That gorgeous Louis Vuitton bag that you own won't stand a chance. First, it smells like a cow (yummy) and second, dogs don't care how much you spent on your accessories.
9) Wild, untamed hair may attract the opposite sex but it will also attract dogs. Scrunch it up lady! Unless you want your hair chewed on and ultimately pulled out.
10) Summer dresses might be nice but if you are conservative be prepared for sniffing dogs to push up your skirt. They don't follow the same moral codes that we do and screaming just makes them want to do it more!

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